The last couple of weeks I've been so scared of the future. I've not been feeling like myself and I've been so lost. I've never been this lost. Everything got better when I visited my parents. I feel so safe there. When I got back I felt strange and grumpy and just GAH did not like myself...
I don't know why it took me about a month, A MONTH to pull myself together and talk to my handsome boyfriend about this. Yesterday I told him how I've been feeling lately. I've not been sure about anything, not myself, us, the future NOTHING. I've been so scared that I some day would fall out of love with him. Or maybe that I already had. I've been feeling so strange that I had no clue how I felt about anything. Or, I still knew that I love tacos and chocolate. Just as I still knew and know that I love Roberto more than anything in this world!
Yesterday I had had enough. These strange feeling crap broke me and I cruled up into a ball on the bed and just cried. After Roberto had been sitting with me for a while trying to figure out what was wrong I told him. I told Roberto how scared I was that I would be to one to mess up our relationship. That maybe later in life we'd not be together. Why would we take things further if that might happen? And that damn bastard... What does he say??? "Angelica, you can't think like that! No one can know what will happen in 50 years, we want to be together now and that's what matters! Of course it would suck if that happened , but no one can know what will happen in 50 years." It's obvious, but did that ever even cross my mind? NO. Why did it take me so long to just tell him that I'm scared? Silly me. I think, I might have thought that Id destroy something if I did. But st some point yesterday I thought that, no, I can not get rid of these shit I'm carrying if I can't even talk to one of the most important people in my life!
Jupp, that was the end of that. GAH. I wish I could stop thinking they way most girls do. Or I think most girls do. Just overthinking everything and stop making everything so damn complicated when it's not complicated at all! This morning I fell in love all over again. I've just been crying of happiness. I feel so silly now but happier than ever! I miss him right now. BUT in less than 4 hours he'll be home. That smart ass poop head :D
I'll now promise myself to stop keeing things that makes me scared and sad inside!
I don't know why it took me about a month, A MONTH to pull myself together and talk to my handsome boyfriend about this. Yesterday I told him how I've been feeling lately. I've not been sure about anything, not myself, us, the future NOTHING. I've been so scared that I some day would fall out of love with him. Or maybe that I already had. I've been feeling so strange that I had no clue how I felt about anything. Or, I still knew that I love tacos and chocolate. Just as I still knew and know that I love Roberto more than anything in this world!
Yesterday I had had enough. These strange feeling crap broke me and I cruled up into a ball on the bed and just cried. After Roberto had been sitting with me for a while trying to figure out what was wrong I told him. I told Roberto how scared I was that I would be to one to mess up our relationship. That maybe later in life we'd not be together. Why would we take things further if that might happen? And that damn bastard... What does he say??? "Angelica, you can't think like that! No one can know what will happen in 50 years, we want to be together now and that's what matters! Of course it would suck if that happened , but no one can know what will happen in 50 years." It's obvious, but did that ever even cross my mind? NO. Why did it take me so long to just tell him that I'm scared? Silly me. I think, I might have thought that Id destroy something if I did. But st some point yesterday I thought that, no, I can not get rid of these shit I'm carrying if I can't even talk to one of the most important people in my life!
Jupp, that was the end of that. GAH. I wish I could stop thinking they way most girls do. Or I think most girls do. Just overthinking everything and stop making everything so damn complicated when it's not complicated at all! This morning I fell in love all over again. I've just been crying of happiness. I feel so silly now but happier than ever! I miss him right now. BUT in less than 4 hours he'll be home. That smart ass poop head :D
I'll now promise myself to stop keeing things that makes me scared and sad inside!