12.26.2012

I’m here to conquer the world!



ガブリエル~のブログ

I’m back! and in english (again)!
A lot of things has happened, and I don’t know if I have time to explain everything. I’ve been on a rollercoaster ride for quite some time now. But now I’m finally back at my feet! Almost… baby steps. Now I’m going to start my life anew, therefore I’m gonna fill it up with new ones.
I’m here to conquer the world!

Have you ever felt something so overwhelming, so overpowering, that it seems like your physical body almost can't contain the emotion, and you might burst, or fly away into the sky like an overinflated helium balloon?

I do :)

¡Feliz navidad! 
Merry Christmas! 
Frohe Weihnachten! 
Bon nadal! 
メリークリスマス!
메리 크리스마스!

12.12.2012

I’ve given myself up to that as well.


It’s difficult enough being a woman, having pitted us against each other practically since birth. Who’s the prettiest, who’s the kindest, who’s the smartest, who’s the over all best. Just because we’re girls we’re forced to be evaluated by everyone because for some odd reason, being female means you have to try twice as hard to prove yourself.

No one taught me that size didn’t matter, nor did anyone teach me to feel awful about my body. All I had to do was watch people and their reactions to bodies. What people praised, what people shunned. Sadly, that still affects me.

Unfortunately, I can’t see a turn around for a very long time. It’s not uncommon to get plastic surgery here and there in asia. It’s not uncommon for many girls to be on a diet when they’re already small. Most of us fear our weight and hate our natural features, and there’s always someone that has something to say about it and that someone is more often a family member or friend that is asian.

I want to be a part of that change. I want to stand for different bodies. I know not every asian woman is naturally slim. Each race has endomorphs, ectomorphs, and mesomorphs. But the models keep getting tinier and tinier. Their faces are getting less and less natural. See, I don’t have a problem with those choices or those bodies. What I have a problem with is that by projecting those types of bodies as ideal to asian women and showing the world only those kind of asian women, it sets a false expectation in non-celebrity/non-model asian women and to the people who haven’t been exposed much to the asian race. When in reality, we’re quite diverse in shapes and features.

Not only are we pressured by the media and our families, but by how the world sees us. So that’s what they advertise to us.

I’ve given myself up to that as well. I won’t deny it. I want it so bad because I want to be beautiful because all my life, here and there, from TV to magazines, books and people, I’ve been told, “Little girl, when you’re beautiful people will notice you and people will like you.”

And guess what? When I stopped dressing in baggy clothes and started wearing makeup and doing my hair, people did notice me and people did like me more. We as a society FEED on these things without even realizing it. When a little girl gets older and starts to wear makeup and wear girly clothes, that’s not her growing up, not for every case. Some of those girls do it because they couldn’t find acceptance of themselves otherwise, tucking away parts of them they would have liked to enjoy but weren’t good enough to everyone else.

It’s important that as we grow older and new generations come in for any race, that we teach them that it’s not their bodies that will be determined if they will be loved, but who they are.

Once again, I don’t have a problem with celebrity and model type bodies or faces. I’m not saying they should be pushed aside or be replaced. I understand what does and doesn’t sell and they’re humans after all and can feel just as awful as the next person. I just know there needs to be some kind of change. Maybe in our own households, among family and friends, we should teach each other these things so that in the future things might be a little better.

12.04.2012

[Anécdotas en Japón] El McDonald's

Después de una de mis clases de japonés mis compañeros y yo íbamos hablando en el metro.
Como casi siempre acabamos hablando de Japón y como soy una pesada acabé contando algunas de las anécdotas de cuando estuve allí.
Nunca se me había ocurrido contarlas aquí, pero mis compañeros me sugirieron hacerlo y~ ¡Aquí estoy!

Para empezar me gustaría contar la vez que comí por primera vez en un McDonald's en Japón.
Mi japonés no era ni es (acabo de empezar a estudiar) muy bueno, así que decidí ir a lo conocido y no arriesgarme en alguno de los pequeños restaurantes de Ikebukuro (donde me estaba quedando).
Esa mañana había estado paseando por el barrio y conociéndolo mejor, pero la tarde la pasaría en Shinjuku. Así que decidí ir al McDonald's de la esquina frente a la estación.

McDonald's de Ikebukuro

Era finales de Julio por lo que el local tenían todas las puertas abiertas y había dos chicas repartiendo publicidad fuera. Entre y esperé mi turno en la larga cola.
La dependienta nada más verme giró la carta para que pudiese leerla en inglés en lugar de japonés. 
Pedí sin ninguna complicación y me dieron una bandeja con mis patatas, la bebida y un cartel rojo con un enorme '5' en ambas caras. Se me quedó un poco cara de idiota al ver el número ¿Qué se supone significaba eso? ¿Dónde estaba mi hamburguesa? 
En ese primer piso no estaba mas que el mostrador para pedir y unas estrechas escaleras que subían a un segundo piso donde se encontraba el 'comedor' y los baños. 
Así que no tenía a nadie a mi alrededor a quien tomar cómo ejemplo o ver qué habían hecho con sus respectivos carteles. Me alejé de la cola y pregunté a una de las chicas que estaban fuera repartiendo publicidad. Si bien pude preguntar en japonés, no entendí su respuesta. La mujer desesperada intentando explicarme empezó a parar gente por la calle preguntando a ver si alguien sabía inglés y podía ayudarnos.
A estas alturas yo ya estaba completamente roja de vergüenza queriendo que la tierra me tragase. En unos minutos se había hecho un corro a nuestro alrededor y había varias personas grabando/sacando fotos con los móviles. Llegados a este punto le dije a la chica que no pasaba nada, que lo dejase.

Y ¡milagro! apareció un niño pequeño que sabía inglés.

Me explicó que tenía que subir y coger sitio, más tarde subiría una camarera con una bandeja llena de hamburguesas con números y me daría la mía. Es una manera de evitar colas y que vaya todo más rápido.
Estos japoneses siempre por delante~

Nada más llegar al segundo piso me encontré con un montón de adolescentes mirándome y un repentino silencio. ¡Qué agobio! Tardaron un par de minutos en volver a sus cosas y solo una mesa con tres gyaru-o que no paraban de sacarme fotos siguió prestándome atención. No es que no estén acostumbrados a ver extranjeros, es solo que no es muy normal verlos por Ikebukuro.
Me senté en una mesa individual para evitar pasar aun más vergüenza. 


A mi lado estaba sentado un universitario de esos que van muy uniformados con su cartera de mano, mirándome de reojo de vez en cuando. Me trajeron por fin la hamburguesa y tuve que girarme para que los gyaru-o no pudiesen sacarme fotos mientras comía, así que quedé casi de frente al universitario.
Empezamos a hablar y agradeció el poder practicar inglés con una extranjera, que su profesora de la universidad lo felicitaría. Cuando terminamos nuestra comida nos despedimos y me dio un papel con su correo electrónico, haciendo que los gyaru-o empezasen a reírse.
No volvimos a coincidir pero seguimos en contacto by internet.

Y hasta aquí mi primera anécdota vergonzosa y ridícula en Japón xD

Espero no haberos aburrido.
See ya~

12.03.2012

The younger version of me.


I do remember when I was younger, in the school, how I didn’t want to be one of those “girly girls” and how showing more skin made that girl “slutty”. I remember thinking that way and believing it because I was threatened that if I were to become a girly girl I would be made fun of for being stupid for having unimportant interests and considered shallow and vain, or that if I showed more skin I would be an “attention whore asking for it” with loose morals and no respect for myself. I’m ashamed that I once thought like that, even if it was many years ago, but I was 11-12 years old and that’s what I was taught by the way I saw people treated and reacted to women.

Because of that I shunned those types of girls without knowing who they really were or what they’ve been through. I just assumed they were stupid and had little respect for themselves. I didn’t want people to think of me that way so I deterred from that route by becoming more like “one of the guys” and honestly believing I was better than other girls. Because being one of the guys meant I was cool, I was easier to talk to cause I didn’t have drama, they could see the real me because I didn’t wear a lot of makeup or dressed for other people. The boys’ approval was more important… and I honestly don’t even remember why it mattered. Things just fell into place just like that. Like it was normal… because it was. It was normal for girls to hate other girls, for guys to hate girls. Girls had to be a certain way for a certain time at a certain place with certain people. If they weren’t, then they were in the wrong. It’s amazing that some people still believe these things without realizing it’s wrong, or that they think this way.

It’s funny because if my younger self saw me now, the younger version of me probably would have judged my personality based on my current appearance, which would be vain, air-headed, attention seeking, and shallow. I’m glad that I grew out of that ignorant way of thinking and started thinking for myself and how other people felt regardless of gender, age, sexual orientation, race, or beliefs. If I didn’t take that time to really question why things are the way they are and the truth behind them, I probably would still be judging girls by how much makeup they wear and how much skin they showed.