I’ve given myself up to that as well.

It’s difficult enough being a woman, having pitted us against each other practically since birth. Who’s the prettiest, who’s the kindest, who’s the smartest, who’s the over all best. Just because we’re girls we’re forced to be evaluated by everyone because for some odd reason, being female means you have to try twice as hard to prove yourself.

No one taught me that size didn’t matter, nor did anyone teach me to feel awful about my body. All I had to do was watch people and their reactions to bodies. What people praised, what people shunned. Sadly, that still affects me.

Unfortunately, I can’t see a turn around for a very long time. It’s not uncommon to get plastic surgery here and there in asia. It’s not uncommon for many girls to be on a diet when they’re already small. Most of us fear our weight and hate our natural features, and there’s always someone that has something to say about it and that someone is more often a family member or friend that is asian.

I want to be a part of that change. I want to stand for different bodies. I know not every asian woman is naturally slim. Each race has endomorphs, ectomorphs, and mesomorphs. But the models keep getting tinier and tinier. Their faces are getting less and less natural. See, I don’t have a problem with those choices or those bodies. What I have a problem with is that by projecting those types of bodies as ideal to asian women and showing the world only those kind of asian women, it sets a false expectation in non-celebrity/non-model asian women and to the people who haven’t been exposed much to the asian race. When in reality, we’re quite diverse in shapes and features.

Not only are we pressured by the media and our families, but by how the world sees us. So that’s what they advertise to us.

I’ve given myself up to that as well. I won’t deny it. I want it so bad because I want to be beautiful because all my life, here and there, from TV to magazines, books and people, I’ve been told, “Little girl, when you’re beautiful people will notice you and people will like you.”

And guess what? When I stopped dressing in baggy clothes and started wearing makeup and doing my hair, people did notice me and people did like me more. We as a society FEED on these things without even realizing it. When a little girl gets older and starts to wear makeup and wear girly clothes, that’s not her growing up, not for every case. Some of those girls do it because they couldn’t find acceptance of themselves otherwise, tucking away parts of them they would have liked to enjoy but weren’t good enough to everyone else.

It’s important that as we grow older and new generations come in for any race, that we teach them that it’s not their bodies that will be determined if they will be loved, but who they are.

Once again, I don’t have a problem with celebrity and model type bodies or faces. I’m not saying they should be pushed aside or be replaced. I understand what does and doesn’t sell and they’re humans after all and can feel just as awful as the next person. I just know there needs to be some kind of change. Maybe in our own households, among family and friends, we should teach each other these things so that in the future things might be a little better.